Forgiveness Provides You a Clean Slate

I always grimace when dealing with this subject.   "I have been wronged, why should I forgive" is a thought that always comes to mind.  I have learned though that a failure to forgive causes mental anguish for me while not affecting the person that I have not forgiven.

In business, there is plenty of opportunity to feel wronged.  I am a professional salesperson providing consulting services.  In order to build new relationships I must make an initial contact and begin to earn the trust of the person that I am talking to.  Those of you not in sales call this "Cold Calling."  Cold Calling is tough work.  You experience tons of rejection and many responses are less than polite, provoking angry thoughts on my part.  It would be easy to solve,  just never call that person again.  The problem is, the prospect pool is finite and would be non existent if I did not call those that had been abrupt, rude, etc. Early in my career I understood the need to continue to try to establish the relationships but struggled to be at my best during subsequent conversations.  It is very difficult to succeed when you are not at your best.  

What do you do?  Forgive.  If you do not, you will never succeed.  This is a valuable skill to learn in business but even more important in life.  Grudges are tough to bear so why hold them?  Here are some things that I remember during my better times.  Believe me, I still struggle with the issue but having a tool to overcome the struggle is a huge benefit.

1.  It is not about me.  Usually when someone does me wrong it is because they are facing a challenge themselves or lack skills, ethics or whatever in general.  I can't control that.  I must accept it.  As I am a believer that most people want to do the right thing, I assume that they are having a difficult time and don't hold a bad day against them.  

2.  No only means no today.  Circumstances change.  Moods change.  Relationships change.  It pays to build cordial relationships even when there has been a rocky one to this point.  

3.  Blow it off and move on.  Dwelling on it only affects my ability to be at my best for my next contact or my interactions outside of work.  

4.  Have a list of validations.  Do you want to change your attitude rapidly?  Take some quiet time and make a list of things that you are grateful for, things that you enjoy doing, people that you love and why you feel that way.  It's a great tool to refer to when angry, hurt or not at your highest level of motivation.    

Today's takeaway.  Only you are responsible for your emotions.  Forgiveness allows you to improve your attitude and levels of success in business and in your relationships.