Ode to a Life Long Friend

Shortly before 9 AM on Saturday my cell phone rang.  The caller ID indicated it was an old friend from Pittsburgh.  When I answered, his daughter Dawn greeted me, then told me that her Dad passed a couple of hours earlier.  

Ray and I were introduced in 1980.  I managed a finance company office and Ray owned an auto repair shop and tow truck.  The economy was bad and unfortunately my company had customers with delinquent car loans and my responsibility was to have them repossessed.   I contracted with Ray and after a car or 2 he told me that he couldn't do it any more as it was dangerous and his staff didn't want to assist.  I told him that I'd go with him and this was the beginning of a 40+ year friendship.  We spent hours in his tow truck in neighborhoods that we probably wouldn't venture into any longer.  We were involved in any number of predicaments and were fortunate to have safely returned home.  A trust was forged through those experiences that I probably can't describe.  

I moved from Pittsburgh in 1983 and Ray and I continued our friendship.  My Mom passed in 1990 and my Dad in 1992 and Ray was there to provide support, help empty and repair the family home and more.  Throughout the 90s we both faced some personal and businesses challenges and even though there were 3000 miles between us we intuitively knew when the other needed a boost.  Our families matured in the 2000s and we were both happily busy between work and our family responsibilities but always found time to stay up to date.  The last 10 years saw us both face a number of similar health challenges at about the same times.  Diabetes, Heart Disease and finally Cancer.  We both made changes and our Diabetes and Heart Disease trials passed.  Very recently Ray got great news about his Cancer.  It was gone!  Unfortunately it seems that the Chemo weakened him and made him susceptible to Pneumonia and a blood infection which took his life.   

After a mournful morning on Saturday I was able to recall the many good times that we shared.  Most wouldn't call getting physically  attacked  a good time but we did as those fights it forged a lifelong bond.  Ray could also always be counted on to do something to break up everyone in the room.  He was the master of telling a slightly inappropriate joke at exactly the wrong time, but somehow it worked.  As we moved into the cell phone era in the 90s I could count on regular phone calls from Ray testing new joke material.  No hello or anything like that, answer the phone and hear a familiar voice telling a corny joke.  The frequency increased with the ability to text.  It seems that jokes always came when I needed a lift.  That was an uncanny knack that Ray possessed.  

I woke up with a funny thought about Ray this morning.  I can see him having a beer in heaven and with his mischievous grin asking God why Iron City Beer is no better in heaven than in Pittsburgh.  

I miss you old friend! 

Change the World

Yesterday while at Church we had the pleasure of seeing the kids perform songs they learned during Vacation Bible School last week.  We are a small Church, I'm estimating about 300 regularly in attendance, but had 119 kids turn out for last week's session.  An effort like that requires a ton of volunteers and it seems that the congregation was up to the task.  Videos of the week long event were shown and there was an abundance of activities and it's obvious that the kids had a blast and that the adults and older kids poured a lot of love into the little ones.  It was tough not to get choked up thinking about that and the impact these kind folks made in the lives of the kids.  

After service I began to think about the fact that these volunteers didn't just show up but its' quite possible that their efforts changed the world, at least for a number of the kids.  Not everyone receives the emotional support, love, nutrition, attention, and encouragement that they need.  For a week the volunteers at Life Community Church (https://www.facebook.com/lccpaso) provided that without limits.  Have you considered what you can do to change someone's world?  It may not be a week of work at Church.  Maybe a kind word to the grocery clerk, a complement to a neighbor,  assisting someone that you know that may be physically limited, going to a senior home and visiting a resident regularly.  The list is only limited by our lack of desire to consider where we can impact.  I know this is something that I plan to improve upon immediately!  

One of the foundations of Rotary International is "Service Above Self" and Rotary provides countless opportunities to serve within your community and around the world.  It's easy to locate a local chapter.   

Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.  Proverbs 11:25

Graduation

The journey is over, but, it's just about to begin.  Take some time to appreciate your accomplishment.  Your perseverance and hard work got you here, now you have a lifetime of possibilities.  

It's a bit intimidating isn't it?  How can you possibly know what you are going to do the rest of your life?  It's hard to talk to your family because they have their expectations for you.  If your experience is like mine, I got little help from my teachers or counselors in learning what to anticipate.  You have choices to make but the good news is that time is on your side.  Be assured that you are not the only one feeling like this even if nobody else is talking about it. 

If you're graduating high school the one decision that you need to commit to is to improve your skills.  If college isn't for you, that's okay.  Learn a trade.  That may mean going to a trade/technical school or beginning at an entry level to be trained by your employer.  The work today may not be where you want to be but as you develop skills you will have opportunities become available that you haven't considered yet.  If you are inclined toward college but undecided that's okay too.  I encourage you to start school in the fall enrolled in STEM classes needed for your general education requirements.  Not thinking about a scientific or technical vocation?  Take the classes anyway.  What you learn will serve you well and you will find that your best career options for compensation and stability are in those fields.  If your committed to other areas like Social Sciences, take the STEM classes anyway.  You will still need them to graduate.  

If you're graduating from college you have some different thoughts.  Now it's time to choose an employer in your field of endeavor.  I suggest that mid size or larger firms will best serve you early on.  Their systems usually are superior including training, mentoring, etc.  Benefits are also important and you will find those companies probably have better benefits. Begin to invest in your employers retirement plan (they may partially match your investment) even though it's a lifetime away.  They may not contribute on your behalf if you don't make contributions.  In effect, you would be walking away from free money.

Let's discuss money.  Money is important.  Don't let someone tell you to "do what you love."  "Love" is an emotion and it may change.  Love grows.   Passion changes but your need for money for the remainder of your life will not.  You've made a substantial investment in your career both monetarily and with your time.  Maximize your investment.  It's good business.  I am not suggesting that you work someplace that you hate, but, I am advising that you always stay aware of your value to an employer, discuss your perspective with your superiors and stay active within your industry having regular contact with peers at other firms to learn about how they are valued.  Don't hesitate to have conversations with competitors about what they may offer you and don't fear change.  You will retain your friends, make new ones and become every bit as comfortable with a new firm if you select well.  

Finally, you are going to feel stress with all of this to consider.  Again, you're not alone.  I believe your family is your source for support but I also understand that they may not have the skills, education, or experience to help you to make the decisions that you need.  They still love you and can help you through the process and that comfort will relieve your stress.  Find mentors.  The Chamber of Commerce often has SCORE volunteers that would happily meet with you.  Talk to your pastor if you go to Church.  Counselors at schools that you are considering may be valuable as well.  

The most important thing to remember is that you are loved.  At times in life you will be overwhelmed and that is important to remember at those times.  

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  1 John 4:9-10

Blessings and good luck!