When is it too much?

 When is pressure, self imposed or brought on externally healthy and when is it too much?

I've always been a very driven person.  I've worked tons of hours in order to achieve at a high level.  I didn't try to compete with others.  The competition was with myself to do better, leave nothing undone for the day and be perfectly prepared for tomorrow.  In the 1980s I worked for a company that was very goal oriented.  That's probably an understatement.  They were maniacal.  Unfortunately it was an atmosphere that I thrived in because it drove me further to do well.  My work weeks turned into marathons.  I traveled extensively in addition to working long hours.  My health was dramatically effected resulting in ulcers, sleeplessness due to other severe gastric problems, anger and more. 

I worked for ITT CFC during the entire decade of the 80s starting off as an Assistant Branch Manager, rising quickly through the ranks and being promoted to a VP position responsible for 30 California branches, 300 employees and $200 million in assets.  I was pretty proud of myself.  This was all accomplished before the age of 30.  In retrospect I performed very well but wasn't ready for the challenges that I faced.  The positions opened up and I earned promotions because of ridiculously high turnover.  Our reputation for that was known industry wide and professionals that were probably more qualified for leadership positions working for competitors would not dare work for us.  You see, it was the pressure and what it did to us.  

Near the end of my tenure everyone at my position in the company (26 of us) was summoned to an emergency meeting called by the President of our company.  We were facing regulatory scrutiny, the President's job was at risk and the already enormous stress became unbearable.  On the flight there an associate began to panic.  He was breathing heavily, ran his hand thought his hair and large clumps came out.  We were friends and about the same age.  It was tough to comfort him but he finally settled a bit.  It hit me that this wasn't a tenable situation  Without boring you with too many details, our meeting with the President was the next day.  I ended up having a disagreement with him and was relieved of my position.  I was the 11th of 26 to leave that position in 1989 and it was a relief.  You see, I would have never quit, just worked more trying to solve problems, taking on more responsibility and causing my health to deteriorate further.  Thankfully I've never been on a plane flight again with someone experiencing life threatening stress or felt it myself.   

It was over 10 years before I again accepted a leadership position with any firm due to the effects of this portion of my career.  I leaned that no job is worth sacrificing my health, that it's time to slow down when I find myself fatigued or irritable and that no company puts my well being above profits or the personal agenda of my superiors.  I owe it to my family and myself to remain healthy, happy and to put us ahead of everything else.  Hopefully most of you aren't involved in this type of work environment but remember this story the next time that you are not willing to consider a position  that may be better for you.  You see, I told myself that I was happy too.  

Ode to a Life Long Friend

Shortly before 9 AM on Saturday my cell phone rang.  The caller ID indicated it was an old friend from Pittsburgh.  When I answered, his daughter Dawn greeted me, then told me that her Dad passed a couple of hours earlier.  

Ray and I were introduced in 1980.  I managed a finance company office and Ray owned an auto repair shop and tow truck.  The economy was bad and unfortunately my company had customers with delinquent car loans and my responsibility was to have them repossessed.   I contracted with Ray and after a car or 2 he told me that he couldn't do it any more as it was dangerous and his staff didn't want to assist.  I told him that I'd go with him and this was the beginning of a 40+ year friendship.  We spent hours in his tow truck in neighborhoods that we probably wouldn't venture into any longer.  We were involved in any number of predicaments and were fortunate to have safely returned home.  A trust was forged through those experiences that I probably can't describe.  

I moved from Pittsburgh in 1983 and Ray and I continued our friendship.  My Mom passed in 1990 and my Dad in 1992 and Ray was there to provide support, help empty and repair the family home and more.  Throughout the 90s we both faced some personal and businesses challenges and even though there were 3000 miles between us we intuitively knew when the other needed a boost.  Our families matured in the 2000s and we were both happily busy between work and our family responsibilities but always found time to stay up to date.  The last 10 years saw us both face a number of similar health challenges at about the same times.  Diabetes, Heart Disease and finally Cancer.  We both made changes and our Diabetes and Heart Disease trials passed.  Very recently Ray got great news about his Cancer.  It was gone!  Unfortunately it seems that the Chemo weakened him and made him susceptible to Pneumonia and a blood infection which took his life.   

After a mournful morning on Saturday I was able to recall the many good times that we shared.  Most wouldn't call getting physically  attacked  a good time but we did as those fights it forged a lifelong bond.  Ray could also always be counted on to do something to break up everyone in the room.  He was the master of telling a slightly inappropriate joke at exactly the wrong time, but somehow it worked.  As we moved into the cell phone era in the 90s I could count on regular phone calls from Ray testing new joke material.  No hello or anything like that, answer the phone and hear a familiar voice telling a corny joke.  The frequency increased with the ability to text.  It seems that jokes always came when I needed a lift.  That was an uncanny knack that Ray possessed.  

I woke up with a funny thought about Ray this morning.  I can see him having a beer in heaven and with his mischievous grin asking God why Iron City Beer is no better in heaven than in Pittsburgh.  

I miss you old friend! 

Change the World

Yesterday while at Church we had the pleasure of seeing the kids perform songs they learned during Vacation Bible School last week.  We are a small Church, I'm estimating about 300 regularly in attendance, but had 119 kids turn out for last week's session.  An effort like that requires a ton of volunteers and it seems that the congregation was up to the task.  Videos of the week long event were shown and there was an abundance of activities and it's obvious that the kids had a blast and that the adults and older kids poured a lot of love into the little ones.  It was tough not to get choked up thinking about that and the impact these kind folks made in the lives of the kids.  

After service I began to think about the fact that these volunteers didn't just show up but its' quite possible that their efforts changed the world, at least for a number of the kids.  Not everyone receives the emotional support, love, nutrition, attention, and encouragement that they need.  For a week the volunteers at Life Community Church (https://www.facebook.com/lccpaso) provided that without limits.  Have you considered what you can do to change someone's world?  It may not be a week of work at Church.  Maybe a kind word to the grocery clerk, a complement to a neighbor,  assisting someone that you know that may be physically limited, going to a senior home and visiting a resident regularly.  The list is only limited by our lack of desire to consider where we can impact.  I know this is something that I plan to improve upon immediately!  

One of the foundations of Rotary International is "Service Above Self" and Rotary provides countless opportunities to serve within your community and around the world.  It's easy to locate a local chapter.   

Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.  Proverbs 11:25

Graduation

The journey is over, but, it's just about to begin.  Take some time to appreciate your accomplishment.  Your perseverance and hard work got you here, now you have a lifetime of possibilities.  

It's a bit intimidating isn't it?  How can you possibly know what you are going to do the rest of your life?  It's hard to talk to your family because they have their expectations for you.  If your experience is like mine, I got little help from my teachers or counselors in learning what to anticipate.  You have choices to make but the good news is that time is on your side.  Be assured that you are not the only one feeling like this even if nobody else is talking about it. 

If you're graduating high school the one decision that you need to commit to is to improve your skills.  If college isn't for you, that's okay.  Learn a trade.  That may mean going to a trade/technical school or beginning at an entry level to be trained by your employer.  The work today may not be where you want to be but as you develop skills you will have opportunities become available that you haven't considered yet.  If you are inclined toward college but undecided that's okay too.  I encourage you to start school in the fall enrolled in STEM classes needed for your general education requirements.  Not thinking about a scientific or technical vocation?  Take the classes anyway.  What you learn will serve you well and you will find that your best career options for compensation and stability are in those fields.  If your committed to other areas like Social Sciences, take the STEM classes anyway.  You will still need them to graduate.  

If you're graduating from college you have some different thoughts.  Now it's time to choose an employer in your field of endeavor.  I suggest that mid size or larger firms will best serve you early on.  Their systems usually are superior including training, mentoring, etc.  Benefits are also important and you will find those companies probably have better benefits. Begin to invest in your employers retirement plan (they may partially match your investment) even though it's a lifetime away.  They may not contribute on your behalf if you don't make contributions.  In effect, you would be walking away from free money.

Let's discuss money.  Money is important.  Don't let someone tell you to "do what you love."  "Love" is an emotion and it may change.  Love grows.   Passion changes but your need for money for the remainder of your life will not.  You've made a substantial investment in your career both monetarily and with your time.  Maximize your investment.  It's good business.  I am not suggesting that you work someplace that you hate, but, I am advising that you always stay aware of your value to an employer, discuss your perspective with your superiors and stay active within your industry having regular contact with peers at other firms to learn about how they are valued.  Don't hesitate to have conversations with competitors about what they may offer you and don't fear change.  You will retain your friends, make new ones and become every bit as comfortable with a new firm if you select well.  

Finally, you are going to feel stress with all of this to consider.  Again, you're not alone.  I believe your family is your source for support but I also understand that they may not have the skills, education, or experience to help you to make the decisions that you need.  They still love you and can help you through the process and that comfort will relieve your stress.  Find mentors.  The Chamber of Commerce often has SCORE volunteers that would happily meet with you.  Talk to your pastor if you go to Church.  Counselors at schools that you are considering may be valuable as well.  

The most important thing to remember is that you are loved.  At times in life you will be overwhelmed and that is important to remember at those times.  

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  1 John 4:9-10

Blessings and good luck!  

Don't Do It!

 Recently I was working with a candidate and helped him to leverage a new position in leadership with a national firm.  The company made a good offer which he promptly accepted and arranged a start date.  Early on during the on-boarding process something came up not to his liking and he emailed me on Easter Sunday.  It was an issue that I was certain could be overcome and told him as much and he agreed to allow me to follow up on Monday morning.  By Sunday night something changed and he sent a scathing email to the hiring manager and others in the company.  To call the message less than professional would be an understatement.  I quickly responded to him privately yet he was steadfast in his anger.  The hiring manger opened the email shortly after and handled everything is stride and resolved the concern by early Monday morning.

In this instance it appears that everything will work out but my counsel to anyone is to not make a call or send an email when frustrated or angry.  Bad choices are made that may not be undone.  

  

An Early Thanksgiving Message

I know many of you will be travelling for Thanksgiving next week so I thought I'd write my Thanksgiving message a bit early.  Let's start by wishing you and your loved ones a great Thanksgiving as you recount your blessings with joy.  

It's hard to believe but we often don't recognize what we have to be thankful for, until it is almost taken away.  Twenty months ago I was diagnosed with a "slow moving" prostate cancer.   By last Thanksgiving it had accelerated and treatments were scheduled to begin after the first of the year. I was concerned but not fearful as I had been diligent about screening.  In January I began treatments with injections that made me irritable, lethargic, exhausted and sleep deprived.  Radiation started in April and the regimen was daily until June.   It exacerbated the side effects of the earlier treatments and I thought that it would never be over.

During this time I worked daily (most days actually) but often went home early due to exhaustion.   I know that my productivity suffered, that I wasn't pleasant to be around and my family suffered with me.  All treatments ended in June and my first follow up was in July and my prognosis was good.  My Thanksgiving present was a blood test that I think reflects good results again but I will know for sure when I visit the Doctor on Monday.  Since August I have been slowly returning to normal; working out regularly, losing weight, being productive at work and regaining my cheer.   

This year I will be celebrating my ability to go to the gym, be productive at work and be a good husband, father and employee.  My boss has become a close friend and while I have appreciated his leadership and friendship I recognize that I never grasped how thankful that I should be.  I actually have Thanksgiving daily at this point for some of the things that I have noted and many more.  I wake up with a smile and try to take the time to revisit everything that I have to be thankful for.  

Happy Thanksgiving!  

The Week In Review

Friday is usually a day where I spend some time to survey what happened during the week, things that are important and other things that I found interesting.  Here are some random thoughts. 

Church on Sunday focused on Hebrews 12:14 "Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord."  This was pretty convicting for me.  I have a tendency to be sarcastic.  Is that an action that is in alignment with finding peace with everyone?  Probably not, much like anger, ego and resentment, all that I can better manage. 

I read a social media post by Harvey Mackay noting that 60% of high school students admit to cheating, 52% of employees admit to theft of office supplies and 43% of sore merchandise losses are due to employee theft.  Pretty disturbing. 

In working with a client this week my contact became upset because I was not "respecting their process."  That process works fine.  The issue is procrastination and lack of communication.  It is tough to recruit and hire in today's market with employee shortages.  A clearly defined process with timely action and clear communications is expected by those that you are considering hiring.  

CNN reported that companies are rushing to implement robots into their workforce with orders of 29,000 being placed through September.  That is a 37% increase vs 2020.  The shortage of staff won't last forever but the use of robots will.  Make sure that you are always improving your skills/knowledge so that you can't be replaced by technology.  

That's it for the week!  Enjoy the weekend!